M Word by Brian Conaghan

Author:Brian Conaghan
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781408871584
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2019-07-21T16:00:00+00:00

Stitches

First they ask, ‘Name, address, DOB?’

Next it’s, ‘What happened, love?’

I spin a total yarn. Then I sit and prepare myself for the ninety-seven-hour outpatient wait.

I’m minding my biz, but can they leave me alone? No chance, they have to send out some batty snoop, don’t they; this dowdy, old wreck with bulging boobs trundles towards me. Clipboard in hand, pen behind her ear, ready to do society’s duty. Seen her sort before. The social-worker uniform is pure vile. Oversized rags. But durable. Asda, I’d wager.

‘Do you want to come with me?’ she goes, dead earnest and sincere.

This is about as exciting as hospital waiting rooms get, so of course I go with her. If someone says, ‘Come with me,’ then you go with them; that’s kind of the deal here.

She leads me into a rank room with four chairs and a table. A hospital with no hospitality, what’s that all about? I remember it from that time I visited Moya: smells of bogging food and BO. Remove the reek of illness, the anguished faces, the medical staff and we could easily be in a police station. I’ve done something mind-bogglingly nuts, but it’s no crime. Maybe a crime against sanity … at a push, but not a crime crime.

Please, whatever happens, I don’t want to go to intensive care. Never again.

‘Maggie, isn’t it?’ she goes.

‘Yup.’ I’m in no mood for chat.

The temporary bandages are rubbish. Top of my leg is a mess. She catches a glimpse of the inner-thigh carnage and can’t hide her sneer of superiority. Some poker player she’d make. Tells me her name’s Val, like I care. Tells me she’s a hospital social worker. Look at me, Val, do you see someone who honestly gives? Says she wants to get some vitals before I head to the sewing room.

‘Want to tell me what happened?’

‘I need stitches for this,’ I go, pointing to the bloody gap.

‘Did you have some type of accident?’

‘Yes.’

‘Would you like to tell me exactly what happened, Maggie?’

‘No one else was involved.’

‘I’m not implying that. I just …’

‘Why am I here? You can’t keep me here.’

‘If we think there’s a protection issue, I’m afraid we can.’ My face drops. Usually I’d throw a wobbly, but I feel weak. ‘The phone number you gave as your next of kin is a false one, isn’t it?’

‘God sake. What is this?’

‘We tried it.’

My face drops further, almost smacks off the floor.

‘So, I made a mistake,’ I go.

‘Look, Maggie, unless you provide us with the name of your guardian, we can’t allow you to leave this hospital unattended.’

‘But I’m old enough.’

‘Sorry, but that’s just the way it is.’

‘Sake!’ I tut.

‘We have a duty of social protection. Do you know what that means?’

I say nothing, concentrate on my leg.

I can tell Val takes no shit. She’s seen it all before, and this shit I’m pedalling isn’t the kind she’s ever going to buy. She’ll just throw it right back at me.

There’s no sign that it’s coming; it’s as if someone inside me has opened the sluice gates.

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